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Self Help: Stop Taking Things Personally (part 1)
Do you feel hurt by others on a regular basis?
If so, I suggest you learn how to stop taking things
personally using self-help.
A Typical Example
Your boss hires a new employee who is obviously quite competent. You next discover that he's invited the new guy to a charity event you've been wanting to attend for six months.
When you find out, you feel hurt and angry. Your boss notices your dismay and invites you along. Feeling like an afterthought, you reject the invitation and fume over his insensitivity.
Why We Take Things Personally
We take things personally because we've trained our mind to do so.
We do not realize this, of course. When events trigger our outrage, we believe our hurt and anger is justified.
How We Take Things Personally
When we take another person's behavior personally, we do the following 3 things:
- Assume his behavior is a reflection of how he feels towards you (vs. a reflection on him and his environment)
- Magnify his hostility towards you by remembering similar ways you've been hurt in the past
- Activate your self-righteousness by believing you would never do this to him, e.g., treat him unfairly, reject him, under-appreciate him, etc.
You can magnify hostility the same way you amplify love: by mentally reflecting on events and giving them meaning.
When we amplify love, we think about how wonderful, sexy, and funny our partner is.
When we amplify hostility, we think about how much another person is trying to hurt, undermine, or embarrass us.
I'm not suggesting that people never do hurtful things.
There is much unconsciousness in the world, and people do transgress against us.
Sometimes, the person IS acting a little rejective towards you in an effort to communicate something important.
However, there are more effective ways to handle negative events than taking them personally.
In my next note, I will show you how to remain calm, confident, and unflappable in the wake of hurtful events.
Your friend,
Lisa Brown
[ Part 1 | Part 2 ]
p.s. If you want the most direct path to success immediately using profound
self-help methods, I recommend my 4 week private, intensive online course, "Catapult Yourself to Success Using Mental Toughness."
Only 30 people will be allowed to join this select group.
As far as I'm concerned, this course is the very best way for you to realize your aspirations now.
It is the culmination of several YEARS of my personal research, trial and error, and refining success strategies.
I've taken knowledge from various fields...from research in sport psychology to the science of achievement...and combined it with my real-world experience working with top performers in business, sports, and the performing arts.
In this time, I've learned exactly what works and what does not work to maximize personal achievement.
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This training is the best of the best, and it comes with my 100% satisfaction guarantee. If you're not thrilled with it, just ask for a refund. No hassles.
To get a complete description of the curriculum, click here:
http://www.lisabrown.ca/catapult_course.html
[ Part 1 | Part 2 ]
Advanced Self Help Institute
#207, 1415 - 17 St SE
Calgary, Alberta T2G 3V3
Phone: (403) 261-2726
Fax: (403) 261-2725
Email: info@self-helpnow.com
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