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Self Help: Self-Acceptance and Winning

To the world she was an athletic phenomenon, a champion blessed with prodigious talent. 

Leisel, however, saw herself as an awkward girl with knock-knees -- anything but special. At this point she turned to self-help and became more intospective. 

She says: 'I just hated the person I was. Being thrust into the limelight and being told to grow up was incredibly hard. I berated myself for not living up to everyone's standards.'

It didn't take long before these negative feelings about herself started to erode her performance.

The media was so disappointed with her post-Olympic swims they criticized her for not being able to handle the limelight.

Self-Acceptance & Well-Being

6 years later, Leisel has a new coach and a new attitude.

Instead of criticizing herself all the time, she decided to make her self-esteem a priority.

She even developed a life outside sport.

Her coach – Stephan Widmer - supported this decision. As a trainer he focuses on the ‘human being’ in his athletes. He says, 'She didn’t have mental problems, she had an identity problem.'

Now, Australians can’t get enough of this new young woman with a strong sense of identity.

And what of her results in the pool?

She's on a tear, smashing two world records at the recent Commonwealth Games trials. Her sport life and self-esteem are finally in harmony.

Self-Acceptance & Winning

I like Leisel's story because so many athletes think they need to criticize themselves harshly if they want to succeed.

They know self-criticism is killing their self-esteem, but they think they need it to motivate themselves.

It never occurs to them that they could accept themselves and be highly motivated at the same time.

The key is to learn the difference between CONSTRUCTIVE and DESTRUCTIVE criticism.

Here's an example of destructive self-criticism:

'Joan, your backhand is terrible today. You'd better play alot better if you want to make it to the finals.'

Here's an example of constructive self-criticism:

'Joan, your backhand is shaky because you're scared of her forehand return. I want you to step into the shot and hit it like you know you can!'

Do you see the difference?

The first one is an insult. The second one is a request.

Destructive self-criticism is basically insulting and scaring yourself by suggesting you'll fail.

Constructive self-criticism is acknowledging the problem and then ASKING yourself for what you want.

Athletes who succeed constantly ask themselves for more. Athletes who fail are always putting themselves down.

It's a fine line, but easy to spot if you pay attention to your inner self.

The more you accept yourself, the more you relax, and the better you perform.

Mental Toughness Exercise

Here's a simple exercise to raise your self-acceptance.

Take a blank sheet of paper and write the following sentence at the top:

If I were 5% more self-accepting today--

Then, write down 5-10 different endings to this sentence. You'll see some repetition, but strive for new endings.

Do this exercise every day for 2 weeks, and watch your self-acceptance rise.

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your friend,
Lisa B.

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Advanced Self Help Institute
#207, 1415 - 17 St SE
Calgary, Alberta  T2G 3V3
Phone: (403) 261-2726
Fax: (403) 261-2725
Email: info@self-helpnow.com