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Self Help: How to Conquer Fear (part 4)

Most people do not consider themselves pessimistic -- yet, they procrastinate every day. I think this is because they have cheerful personalities. They do not realize that most pessimism is unconscious.

There is a simple self-help exercise you can do to combat your pessimism. First, write down your fears about your most important goal right now. This will reveal the unconscious pessimism you are holding about it. 

Dallas: Fear of added job responsibility 

Dallas, a skilled computer software engineer, says she 菟erformed brilliantly in school but only average in her career.?Historically, Dallas had sought less stressful assignments at work, but recently decided she wanted more responsibility. Her relationship with her supervisor was good, yet Dallas still felt reluctant to ask for a more challenging role. 

Here are the three main fears she recorded:

1. 的 might make a big mistake that could be a problem for the firm.?br> 2. 的 might not understand how to do all the required tasks.?br> 3. 的 might feel overwhelmed by the added responsibility.?br>
Then, write down legitimate suggestions about why these setbacks could be temporary. Here's what Dallas came up with:

1. 的f I make a mistake, I can develop a better checking routine.?br> 2. 的f I don稚 understand a task right away, I can learn how to do it.?br> 5. 的f I feel overwhelmed, I can delegate or request an extension.?br>
Notice that Dallas is not trying to convince herself that these problems have a silver lining, e.g., 擢eeling overwhelmed will build my character.?In Dallas?mind, there are no advantages to feeling overwhelmed; having said that, she found genuine reasons to believe her stress would be temporary.

The discovery that most human beings become helpless when confronted with obstacles was a major revelation in self-help in the 20th century.¹

Using this simple exercise, you can learn to spot pessimism in yourself and move beyond it with grace.

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your friend,
Lisa Brown

[ Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 ]

Advanced Self Help Institute
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